Why Women Still Can’t Have It All

women

A forthright examination of a long-burning issue by a woman who has held some of the highest positions in academia and public service. The article is extremely long, but provides a rich source of experience, examples and research to those who are interested in gender issues. Published in The Atlantic.

……..

Eighteen months into my job as the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department, a foreign-policy dream job that traces its origins back to George Kennan, I found myself in New York, at the United Nations’ annual assemblage of every foreign minister and head of state in the world. On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History. I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14-year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern of skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him. Over the summer, we had barely spoken to each other—or, more accurately, he had barely spoken to me. And the previous spring I had received several urgent phone calls—invariably on the day of an important meeting—that required me to take the first train from Washington, D.C., where I worked, back to Princeton, New Jersey, where he lived. My husband, who has always done everything possible to support my career, took care of him and his 12-year-old brother during the week; outside of those midweek emergencies, I came home only on weekends.

As the evening wore on, I ran into a colleague who held a senior position in the White House. She has two sons exactly my sons’ ages, but she had chosen to move them from California to D.C. when she got her job, which meant her husband commuted back to California regularly. I told her how difficult I was finding it to be away from my son when he clearly needed me. Then I said, “When this is over, I’m going to write an op-ed titled ‘Women Can’t Have It All.’”

She was horrified. “You can’t write that,” she said. “You, of all people.” What she meant was that such a statement, coming from a high-profile career woman—a role model—would be a terrible signal to younger generations of women. By the end of the evening, she had talked me out of it, but for the remainder of my stint in Washington, I was increasingly aware that the feminist beliefs on which I had built my entire career were shifting under my feet. I had always assumed that if I could get a foreign-policy job in the State Department or the White House while my party was in power, I would stay the course as long as I had the opportunity to do work I loved. But in January 2011, when my two-year public-service leave from Princeton University was up, I hurried home as fast as I could.

Read more here.

…….

The blogger, a First Class Honours grad from NUS, retired from a distinguished 14-year career as an English and GP tutor at the age of 42.

To view tutors recommended by the blogger, please click on ‘Recommended Tutors/Testimonials’ above.

If you are an English or GP tutor keen to be listed on this website (consistently ranked  top 10 on Google for GP tutors) as a Recommended Tutor, please email Steven Ooi at stevenooi18 @ yahoo.com (remove the spaces).

For GP model essays, click here.

 

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About gptuitionsg

A dedicated English and GP tutor with First Class Honours from NUS, Steven Ooi retired from the profession after a 14-year career during which he was one of the most sought-after private tutors in Singapore. He is the recipient of the Minerva Prize from NUS, which is awarded to the top English Language honours student. This website, which has consistently ranked among the top 10 on Google for GP tutors and has received over 380,000 hits, has now been converted into a GP blog cum listing of recommended tutors. If you are a GP or English tutor who wishes to be listed here, please email Steven Ooi at stevenooi18 @ yahoo.com (pls remove the spaces). Interested parties will be vetted and interviewed personally by webmaster Steven Ooi, and qualifications will be checked to uphold quality standards. DISCLAIMER: While every reasonable effort has been made to assess the competence and verify the qualifications of recommended tutors here, no guarantees are made and you engage them at your own risk. By using this website, you agree that you will not hold the webmaster Steven Ooi responsible for any consequences — direct or otherwise — that occur in relation with your use of this website.
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2 Responses to Why Women Still Can’t Have It All

  1. All the best for your retirement, and merry Christmas! I have enjoyed reading your blog posts very much.

    • gptuitionsg says:

      Thank you so much William! The very best to you in 2017 as well, on both a professional and personal level. I will continue to blog here and look forward to reading your posts too. 🙂

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